Why Am I Doing This?

Doing a blog entry, that is. Right this moment there are several things that I would be better off doing ... like packing more orders (which isn't going to happen tonight as I am beyond exhausted and have got to the 'tripping over my own feet' stage, which doesn't help when there are boxes and Gawd only knows what other crap all over the floor in the office); stacking the dishwasher (it'll have to wait until tomorrow); digging out a photo that I promised Mum she would have LAST weekend; ringing Michelle (my friend - but really it's too late for that now); or getting ready for bed. Getting ready for bed gets my vote for sure ... it's been a long and tiring day.

Someone today asked me why do I continue doing the 9.00-5.00 in the hospital, when I could give it all up and just run Scrapbook Mad and One Stop Stamps full-time. I couldn't just name one reason ... there are many. For a start I really enjoy the interaction with people at work - not just the people I work with (we have so many very lovely doctors); but the patients too. I can't begin to explain how valued it makes me feel when a patient rings up and asks about ME - like when I had my gallbladder out last year, when I got back to work I had several ring me up to see how I was and if I was okay etc etc. Today I had a visit from Mr B, a patient who has been coming to Si's clinics for some time who has had surgery a couple of times. For as long as I can remember he has been bringing choccies/biscuits for Si when he comes to clinic as a sign of his gratitude; and since he's got to know me a bit better he's been bringing goodies for me too, bless him. This is what counts - never mind that the NHS doesn't pay premium rates to the secretaries - building up relationships with ordinary people like Mr B, and knowing how much they appreciate all your efforts on their behalf is the raison d'etre behind the job. You wouldn't believe how many patients I have that ring and apologise profusely for being such a nuisance - 99% of them are really quite seriously ill, yet they still worry about bothering me. I tell them that they are not being a nuisance, and that the whole purpose of my job is to be the point of contact between them and Si/the hospital; and that I am here to help them if I can. Then on the flip side, there are the patients who have very unrealistic expectations of the service they can expect and who are rude, demanding and wouldn't think to thank me for my help if my life depended on it. Well, we need those patients too, so we've got something to moan about!

My ultimate goal is to know that I made a difference, however small, to someone who needed help. Whether that involves bringing an appointment forward for someone who is having real problems, or whether it is just taking the time to listen to someone who is lonely and afraid, as long as I know that I did everything I could to make things easier for them, then I'm happy. I will freely admit that if I get a patient on the phone that starts to cry, I have to get the tissues out because I will cry along with them. Actually, that goes for anyone who cries in my vicinity ... I can't help it.

There just isn't the same buzz, selling scrapping supplies - so as much as I enjoy it, I can't see that it will ever be my main source of employment.

My job does actually seem to be evolving recently. I'm trying to make myself ever more efficient and useful, and am trying to anticipate what Si wants me to do. In the last few months I've managed to wangle myself clinic booking privileges (none of the other secretaries have it), plus I have started to book a lot of Si's appointments myself so that we know they have been made (medical records are severely understaffed and there have been problems related to appointments being booked in the past). There are also a couple of ongoing projects that Si is involved in that I am also having a small amount of input in; and then we have a big conference coming up next March. Si is officially the organiser, along with another two of our Consultants, but other than them telling me what they want in terms of menus, speakers etc, the organisation is going to be left to me.

So you see, I don't just sit and type up clinic letters all day every day. Yep, that's an important part of my job, but there's also the patient contact, the clinic admin, the running of the waiting list, organisation of the postgraduate programme and being responsible for the payment of invoices/banking of cheques for our department, amongst other things.

Why would I want to give up the chance to really get involved in exciting projects and help lots of people, so that I could sit at home and send out scrapping supplies? Isn't it a good job that I can do both?!