Burnt Out

You know, for the most part I love running Scrapbook Mad … the thrill of seeking out new stash, the joy at receiving so many orders – even staying up half the night packing orders and doing paperwork can be a euphoric experience. However, I have been riding a non-stop rollercoaster of work since the end of last May without a decent break – even after I had my gallbladder out last September I didn’t stop – when I should have been resting I was working. I’m not complaining (well, okay – I’m complaining about having to work when I should have been resting), but I have to admit that Ethan’s chickenpox came just at the right time, and has been the perfect excuse for me to down tools for a few days.

I quite like hard work – there’s nothing like the satisfaction I get when I know that I’ve done what needs to be done, but now that I’ve been able to take a step back from everything I can see just how exhausted I was, both mentally and physically, after the last few months in particular, where not only have I tried to keep on top of all the orders and stuff, but I’ve also had to produce a full set of accounts for 2004/2005 plus two VAT returns. Stressful isn’t the word for it!

Anyway, Ethan being poorly gave me an excuse to just ignore all business matters for a few days while I pandered to his every whim (unfortunately, most of his whims involved watching Bob the Builder and Dorla the Explorer). Unfortunately, allowing myself the time to not do anything has made me feel worse. At the moment I feel no motivation to crack on and get things back up-to-date. In fact, I’d go so far to say at this precise moment in time that if I never saw my office again I wouldn’t care. I have come to the conclusion that I have burnt myself out … so if you’re waiting for an order from me, what can I say other than that I’m extremely sorry if it didn’t go out within a day of you ordering it, but I have almost caught up again now, so it should be with you in a couple of days.

So what are the symptoms of scrapshop burn out? Well … firstly there’s knowing that you simply don’t care that you can’t find stuff or that you’re constantly tripping over boxes because you haven’t tidied up for a long long time (despite your best intentions to tidy up after every order packing session). Then there’s the dread that descends over your soul every time you allow yourself to remember that there is work up there waiting to be done. Then the most horrifying symptoms of all … the one where you open a new kit of luscious stash that has arrived to join your personal stash, then turn to your other half and say ‘you know what, at this precise moment I couldn’t give a monkeys if I never saw a piece of 12 x 12 again’ (cue gasps of horror from said beloved other half); followed closely by total disinterest in what new stuff has been released and what fabbo goodies you might be able to drool over at the trade show next weekend ...

Anyone want to buy a scrapping website??!

Seriously, at the moment it’s frightening how curiously detached I feel from everything. But this too shall pass, and I am confident that in another few weeks I will feel invigorated and ready to play again. I just need to remember to take it easy when I can and make time for me. If that means that orders take an extra day to get to their destinations, well I’m sure everyone will understand that I’m not superwoman and I’ve got to put me and the boys first.

And you know what? Now that I've got that off my chest I feel MUCH better!